The Secret Sauce of Marriage

I’m often asked, “How have you managed to stay married to the same man for 20 years?”  Well, I can tell you every day hasn’t been sunshine and lovey dovey.  We’ve definitely had all of our wedding vows tested.  The reality is all relationships require work, and marriage certainly requires effort to be successful.  I believe my marriage has lasted two decades because early on we accepted that we were two different people shaped by our upbringing and life experiences.  Many marriages fail because people go into it expecting the other person to magically change their way of thinking after saying “I do.”  Every couple has to figure out what works best for THEIR marriage, but here are a few tips I feel are essential to having a long-lasting HAPPY marriage:

• Do you “Like” your spouse as a person? This pandemic has made many people realize they love each other, but really don’t like each other very much.

• Communication – Keep the lines of communication open by letting the other person know when things are going well and not just when they’re not.

• Compromise – Pick your battles. Marriage is a give and take so be ready to give a lot!

• Service – Try to find ways to make the other person’s life better.  Ask yourself, what can I go to make my love’s day better?

• Intimacy – This goes far beyond the bedroom folks.  An unexpected gesture such as a sexy note in the car, dinner at a new restaurant, or dressing up for date night can spice things up for the routine.

Now that you have a little bit of the secret sauce, try sprinkling it on your marriage.